CHAPTER 4
Stop and Look: The Present Moment
TO UNDERSTAND AND TRANSFORM our suffering, we need to use
a step-by-step process of deep observation—just like the scientist
does in the laboratory. We start by being aware of and
acknowledging our su ering. Take, for example, our unhappiness
with our weight. We must make an e ort to stop our busy lives for a moment and become aware of our su ering—something most of
us try to avoid and resist. Instead, we need to embrace and accept
the pain we feel about our weight. Next, we must realize that the
su ering inside us isn’t just something we are looking at from the
outside: We are that block of su ering. We become one with our
su ering, just as the scienti c observer becomes one with the
objects of his investigation, and this amalgam is the key to
transforming and relieving our misery. For example, to understand
our shame of being overweight, we must acknowledge and accept that we are embarrassed, angry, and lled with despair. By
becoming one with our su ering, we can feel it. We acknowledge the feelings; we do not reject them or push them away. We know that we can identify the causes of our su ering, and we can nd a way out. How can we become deep observers of our su ering and free ourselves from it? Through the daily practice of mindfulness.
So What Is Mindfulness?
In the previous chapters, we have brie y mentioned mindfulness. Now we are going to o er a deeper, more comprehensive understanding of mindfulness. The Chinese character for
“mindfulness” is “nian” () . It is a combination of two separate characters, each with its own meaning. The top part of the character
() means “now,” and the bottom part of the character () means “heart” or “mind.” Literally, the combined character means the act of experiencing the present moment with your heart. So mindfulness is the moment-to-moment awareness of what is occurring in and around us. It helps us to be in touch with the wonders of life, which are here and now. Our heart opens and is immersed in the present moment, so that we can understand its true nature. By being present and mindful of the present moment, we can accept whatever is at that moment as it is, allowing change to happen naturally, without struggle, without the usual resistance and judgment that cause us to suffer more.
Mindfulness is the energy that helps us look deeply at our body, feelings, mind perceptions, and all that is around us. It is a source of light in the darkness, allowing us to see clearly our life experience in relation to everything else. It is through this kind of insight that we can lift ourselves out of ignorance, the main cause of suffering.
Though many books have been written about the power of mindfulness, it is something best learned by doing. Just like a toddler learning to walk through repeated e ort—learning to crawl, then standing up, falling countless times, and standing up again— we must, if we want to get a good handle on mindfulness, constantly apply it to everything we do, so that it becomes second nature. Mindfulness does not happen by itself, however. You need to have the desire to practice it.
Mindfulness can help us understand ourselves in relation to all that is within and around us. When we have di culty with our weight problems, we often resent ourselves. We tend to look at our
eating habits and our distress as separate entities from ourselves, and try to solve these problems from the outside. We need to compassionately realize that these problems are not separate from us: they are our own body, feelings, and mind, which are interconnected with everything else in our world. This deep understanding of the interdependence of all things enables us to recognize what can be done to effect change in a steady manner.
In the Discourse on the Four Foundations of Mindfulness, the Buddha taught his disciples how to practice mindfulness to “help living beings realize puri cation, overcome directly grief and sorrow, end pain and anxiety, travel the right path, and realize nirvana.” Although the Buddha was not speci cally addressing weight management, the basic guidance is most relevant. The insight it offers is as applicable now as it was then.
The Four Foundations of Mindfulness
There are four foundations of mindfulness. The rst is our own
body. When dealing with weight and eating problems, naturally, we need to rst know our bodies and how to be in touch with and
appreciate them. The second foundation of mindfulness is feelings. It teaches us how to be aware of our physiological, physical, and psychological feelings in broad categories of pleasant, unpleasant, mixed and neutral feelings. The third foundation is mental formations—such as compassion, anger, or greed—the more complex reactions that arise based on our feelings. This foundation involves the practice of being aware of the mind’s activities. The fourth foundation is the realm of objects of mind, because each mental formation has an object. If there is no object there is no subject, because consciousness is always consciousness of something. The fourth foundation is the awareness of all things in us and around us, the objects of our mental formations. Central to each area of practice is the understanding that we are not separate from the object of our mindfulness. As we watch our bodily sensations or emotions, we are feeling them at the same time. Furthermore,
although each area of mindfulness focuses on a di erent object of observation, all four areas are interconnected.
Mindfulness of the Body (Observation of the Body in the Body)
Mindfulness of the body is simply that: observing and becoming one with our body and its condition. Being mindful of the body, we practice observing and becoming fully aware of the breath, the positions of the body, the actions of the body, and the various parts of the body. We become aware of the state of the body, including our aches, our pain, and our overweight. This is an important practice because in our busy lives, we often ignore warning signals from our body and postpone responding to its cries for help until it is too late.
The first important practice is the full awareness of breathing. Try sitting in a chair comfortably, with your feet rmly touching the
oor and your back straight. If you prefer, you can also lie down
at and relax your body. Shift your attention to your in-breath and out-breath. Say silently:
When I breathe in, I know that I am breathing in.
When I breathe out, I know that I am breathing out.
This conscious breathing exercise is simple, yet its e ects are
profound when practiced regularly. To succeed, we must give all of
| our attention to our breathing, and nothing else. As we follow our | |
| in-breath, for example, we feel the air | owing into our nostrils and |
| our lungs. When distracting thoughts | arise, we let them go and |
refocus on our in-breath and out-breath. Our mind stays focused on our breathing for the entire length of each breath. As we breathe, we become one with our breath. The body and the breath are not separate entities. This is “mindfulness of the body in the body.”
In everyday life, we often get lost in forgetfulness, operating on autopilot for most of our waking hours. Our mind chases after thousands of things, and we rarely take the time to come back to ourselves, to be in touch with ourselves. We end up feeling
overwhelmed and alienated from ourselves. Conscious breathing is a marvelous way to return to ourselves, like a child returning home after a long journey. When we are still, we feel the calmness that we have inside us, and we nd ourselves again. Conscious breathing also allows us to be in contact with life in the present moment, the only moment in which we can truly touch life.
When we follow our breathing, we are already at ease, no longer dominated by our anxieties, resentments, and longings. As we breathe consciously, we become more stable with every moment.
Take a moment to try this simple breathing exercise, and observe how you feel afterward.
When breathing in a long breath, silently say to yourself, “I am breathing in a long breath.” Then repeat the word “long” with each in-breath.
When breathing out a long breath, silently say to yourself, “I am breathing out a long breath.” Then repeat “long” with each out-breath.
Or if your breath is short, when breathing in, say, “I am breathing in a short breath.” Then repeat “short” with each in-breath.
When breathing out a short breath, say, “I am breathing out a short breath.” Then repeat “short” with each out-breath.
While the mind is following the breath, the mind is the breath and only the breath. The two unite and in uence each other. In the process of the practice, our breathing naturally becomes more regular, harmonious, and calm, and our mind also becomes more regular, harmonious, and calm. When the mind and the breathing unite, feelings of joy, peace, and ease arise in the body.
Breathing in, I am aware of my whole body.
Breathing out, I am aware of my whole body.
With this exercise, the distinction between body and mind
dissolves, and we experience the oneness of body and mind. The object of our mindfulness here is no longer simply the breath but the whole body itself as it is uni ed with the breath. In our daily lives, our mind and our body do not often work in unison. Our body may be here while our mind is somewhere else, perhaps regretting the past or worrying about the future. And this disconnect between mind and body is the crux of many weight problems. For example, many people eat without feeling hunger or eat beyond the point of fullness, either because the food looks good to them and they crave it or because they are trying to soothe their di cult emotions. Through mindfulness practice, we can nurture the oneness of body and mind, and really listen to our body and know what it needs to be truly nourished. We are able to restore our wholeness and eat what our stomach wants, not what our craving pushes us to eat.
As body and mind become one, we need only calm our body in order to calm our mind.
Breathing in, I calm my body.
Breathing out, I calm my body.
The essence of mindfulness is to come back to dwell in the present moment and observe what is happening. When body and mind are one, the wounds in our hearts, minds, and bodies begin to heal. Then we can truly begin to transform our weight issues.
We have all had bad days when everything seems to go wrong. After such a long day, we feel tired, discouraged, and down. We might have an urge to have some comfort food—a pint of ice cream, say, or some chocolate-chip cookies or a bag of chips. At times like these, it is best simply to return to our body through mindful breathing, cut o all external contact, and close the door of the senses. Following our breathing, we can collect our mind, body, and breath, and they will become one. We will feel warm and soothed, like someone sitting indoors by the re while the wind and rain are raging outside.
This method can be practiced anywhere at any time—while waiting in line, on the train, on the plane, and in our o ce. We can practice the same breathing technique when we walk, sit, stand, eat, drink, cook, or play. We can use our breathing in order to be aware of the positions of our body: lying, sitting, standing, or walking. We can say, “Breathing in, I calm my body,” in order to continue dwelling in mindfulness and to calm our body and mind. We can come back and make ourselves whole again whenever we want or need to do so.
Practicing breathing while reciting verses like the ones described
earlier in this chapter helps us dwell more easily in mindfulness.
Mindfulness makes every action of our body more serene, and we
become the master of our body and mind. Without mindfulness, our
actions can be hurried, imprudent, insensitive, and abrupt.
Mindfulness nurtures the power of concentration in us. As we practice, we nd that our actions slow down. We will see our
everyday actions become harmonious, graceful, and measured. Mindfulness becomes visible in our actions and speech. We are more in the ow of life, and actually living it. When any action is placed in the light of mindfulness, the body and mind become relaxed, peaceful, and joyful.
Going a little deeper, in a sitting or lying position, conscious breathing can also help us to be in touch with the functioning of our body. We observe all the parts of our body from the top of our head to the bottom of our feet. In the process of our observation, we visualize and get to know each part of our body, including the brain, heart, lungs, liver, stomach, gallbladder, spleen, blood, immune system, kidneys, bones, and so on. For example:
Breathing in, I am aware of my liver.
Breathing out, I know that my liver is working hard day in and day out to support me.
Because of excess weight, some people may have very negative feelings about their bodies. But if they stop and re ect, they can appreciate their eyes, feet, and hands, which are still functioning
well even though other parts such as their joints and heart need more tender loving care. Many of us have lost touch with our body. Our body may have been calling out for help, but we are so preoccupied with our life’s demands that we ignore our body’s SOS signals. For years and years, our eyes, feet, heart, lungs, and other body parts have devotedly and faithfully worked for us nonstop. If our body is not happy and is in turmoil, we cannot be happy. Yet we rarely give the parts of our body much attention or express our gratitude to them. We cannot take our body for granted. Observing our body mindfully o ers us a chance to thank our body for its hard work, enabling us to do so much in our lives, manifesting our life’s work. Our body needs our appreciation and caring. The regular practice of total relaxation (see appendix C), in which we lie down and consecutively relax each part of our body, is very important for our well-being. Make a habit of practicing it regularly, starting with once a week and increasing the frequency as you experience its benefits.
Mindfully observing the di erent parts of the body can open the door to healing. At rst we recognize the presence of the body part being observed, and then we embrace it lovingly. We see that each organ is dependent on the function of all other organs and that every muscle and cell in our body is supporting these organs.
Another exercise proposed by the Buddha in his teachings on
mindfulness of the body is to see the four elements in the body: earth, water, re, and air. You may like to see a cloud in your body,
because without clouds there can be no rain, nor water to drink or grains and vegetables to eat. We see earth in us, earth as the minerals in our body. We also see the earth is in us because, thanks to Mother Earth, we have food to eat. We see air in us, because without air we could not survive, just like every other species on earth. The re in us is the warmth made by the burning of energy from food, and it is a re ection of the sun, the re element outside us. Everything is interconnected. Our body and our universe are one.
This concept, what we call “interbeing,” applies to everything.
Look into your body. Your body cannot exist alone, by itself. It has
to “inter-be” with the earth, the air, the rain, the plants, your
parents, and your ancestors. There is nothing in the universe that is
not present in your body. When you touch your body deeply, you touch the whole universe.
One of the more di cult mindfulness exercises o ered by the
Buddha to help us be mindful of the body in the body is to observe
our body in the di erent stages of disintegration after we die.
Although it may be unpleasant to visualize death, and the process
by which our physical body reduces to dust, the e ect of this
practice can be very transforming. The intention is not to make us
weary of life but to provide insight into how precious life is. Many
of us tend to think we will live forever, or at least that death can be
put o for a long time. Many survivors of cancer, heart attack, or natural disasters such as tsunamis and earthquakes have a very
di erent perspective on life after those traumatic experiences. Having been close to losing their lives, many of them nd themselves appreciating life much more. They savor each moment and become more appreciative of the many things that they previously took for granted. But we do not have to experience this kind of trauma to see the impermanent nature of life or enjoy it fully.
Breathing in, I am aware of the impermanent nature of my body. Breathing out, I smile to my body and enjoy being alive.
Contemplating just the body alone can already lead us to enlightenment, because the body contains the other three foundations of mindfulness as well as the whole cosmos. When we see all the conditions that come together to make the body manifest, we don’t underestimate it or take it lightly. Contemplating the body is the same as contemplating the Buddha.
Sometimes we despise our body and criticize it, but even the negative things in our body are wonders. Just as with a lotus pond, we tend to accept the lotus but not the mud in the pond. The lotus is precious, but so is the mud, because without the mud there
would be no lotus. We must treasure everything that belongs to the body and not despise it. It is our very vehicle for awakening. We can nd all aspects of the path to enlightenment in our own body. We can’t nd enlightenment or nirvana outside our body; it can be found only in our body.
To be in touch with all the di erent aspects of the body is a main goal of the meditative, mindful observation of the body. We cannot function well without a healthy body. With the mindfulness exercises given here, we can maintain health in our body, mind, and spirit. By doing so, we free ourselves from su ering, leading to joy and happiness. When we nourish our body with joy and happiness, we can heal the wounds within us—the wounds that often prevent us from following a lifestyle that allows us to reach our healthy weight.
Mindfulness of the Feelings (Observation of Feelings in the Feelings)
Many of us approach weight loss with the desire to change only what we do not like about ourselves. But taking time to increase our joy and the wholesome qualities in us can also help us in reaching a healthy weight. It is very important to be aware of not only what is not going well in us, but also what is going well. In every moment, there are many things that we can appreciate and enjoy, things that nourish our happiness. There are the blue sky, the white clouds, the sunshine, the solid earth beneath our feet. There are the birds singing, the trees, the presence of our loved ones, the fact that we still have food to eat, and the fact that we are still alive. Life is a miracle, and being aware of simply this can already make us very happy.
It is a very helpful practice to write down all our current conditions for happiness. We can list all the many things we have that we are grateful for and that we usually take for granted. When you brush your teeth, you can be happy that you still have teeth to brush! When you go to the toilet, you can be happy that you can still urinate and defecate on your own; you haven’t lost control of your eliminating functions. You still have the use of your eyes, ears,
body, and mind. When we stop to think about all these things, our list can become quite long! Observation of the feelings involves consciously bringing up our positive feelings. In the Buddha’s Full Awareness of Breathing teaching, the first thing he proposes when it comes to awareness of the feelings is to nourish our joy and happiness. In order to have the strength and energy to embrace painful feelings, we must nourish our positive feelings regularly. This same practice appears in modern medicine. Before performing surgery, doctors assess whether the patient is strong enough to undergo the procedure. If not, they help the person become stronger before they operate.
Weight is, for many people, an emotional issue. Some people eat in response to emotions—happiness, sadness, anxiety, even boredom. For others, excess weight may cause them emotional strain due to the stigma and prejudice they face because of their size and appearance. Mindfulness can help us cope with these emotions and feelings.
In Buddhism, there are four sorts of feelings—pleasant, unpleasant, mixed, and neutral. Mixed feelings are both pleasant and unpleasant at the same time. Neutral feelings are neither pleasant nor unpleasant. All four are important, and none should be brushed away. When we come across an unpleasant feeling, we should not bury it at the back of our mind. Instead, we need to breathe consciously and observe it.
Breathing in, I know that this unpleasant feeling has arisen within me.
Breathing out, I know that this unpleasant feeling is present in me.
Whenever there is a pleasant, unpleasant, mixed, or neutral feeling, we need to practice mindful observation of that feeling. We need to acknowledge it and know that there is no separation between us and our feeling. We are neither drowned in nor annoyed by the feeling, nor do we reject it. This is the most e ective way to be in contact with feelings. Our attitude of not
clinging to or rejecting our feelings helps us avoid intensifying the feeling, and we begin our path of transformation.
Our feelings usually play an important role in directing our thoughts and our mind. When we are mindful of our feelings, the situation begins to change. We are our feelings, but we are also more than just our feelings. When mindfulness arises, there is an energy that can embrace our feeling, and then the feeling is no longer the only thing present in us and can be transformed under the light of our awareness. With mindfulness, we will no longer be swept away by the river of our feelings. When you feel anxious, instead of reaching into the freezer for an ice-cream bar, pause and consciously take a few in-breaths and out-breaths, embracing your feeling with your breathing.
Breathing in, I am feeling anxious.
Breathing out, I cuddle my anxiety.
When we accept our anxiety with compassion, we are more able to see the nature of our anxiety and more capable of transcending it. We will not be led astray by our anxiety and our habit energy of eating an ice-cream bar when we are anxious. Our mindfulness energy leads us to understand our feeling and give ourselves what we truly need to calm our anxiety.
All our feelings have a physiological or psychological root. For
example, if you have an unpleasant feeling of irritability because
you overate and now have indigestion, your unpleasant feeling has
a physiological root. If you have an unpleasant feeling of frustration because you cannot t into the jeans that you bought last year, your
unpleasant feeling has a psychological root. To be able to identify the roots of your feelings is to look deeply in order to see how and why your irritability or frustration arose and to understand its true nature. What past experiences caused you to feel vulnerable and irritated easily? To know a feeling is not just to see its roots, but also to see its owering and its fruits, and what it has grown into. Looking deeply, you realize that the reason you cannot t into those jeans is that you stopped exercising because your new job is
so demanding that you do not have time to exercise. Further, you recall that you always felt better and handled stress more aptly with regular exercise.
When a ictions such as anger, confusion, jealousy, and anxiety arise in us, they generally disturb our body and mind. We lose our peace, joy, and calm, and many of us turn to food, the TV, or the Internet for relief. Yet to truly regain our peace, joy, and calm, we must again practice breathing mindfully.
Breathing in, I know I have an unpleasant feeling.
Breathing out, I am here for this unpleasant feeling.
Breathing in, I calm the feeling in me.
Breathing out, I calm the feeling in me.
We have to face our unpleasant feelings with care, a ection, and nonviolence. We should learn to treat our unpleasant feelings as friends who can teach us a great deal. Just like a mindfulness bell, unpleasant feelings draw our attention to issues and situations in our lives that are not working and that need our care. Proceeding with mindful observation, we will gain insight and understanding into what needs to be changed and how to change it.
With this practice, our breathing becomes lighter and calmer. As a result, our mind and body will slowly become light, calm, and clear as well. Every time we see the substance, roots, and e ects of our feelings, we are no longer under the control of them. The whole character of our feelings can be changed just by the presence of mindfulness energy.
We must also practice embracing our neutral feelings. If left unattended, neutral feelings may slowly turn into unpleasant feelings. However, if we know how to manage them and if we hold them in mindfulness, they can become pleasant feelings. For example, after gaining weight, you may have had the unpleasant feeling of having blood-sugar levels higher than normal, a step on the path toward diabetes. If you lose some weight, your blood sugar may return to normal, and you will feel very happy. As time goes
by you may no longer feel the intensity of the pleasant feeling associated with normal blood sugar, and it may drift into a neutral feeling as you take it for granted. However, when we are mindfully aware, our normal blood sugar can be a source of pleasant feelings again.
Mindfulness of the Mind (Observation of Mind in the Mind)
The mind is a powerful entity. It can help us achieve things we once thought were impossible. It can also, if we allow it, hinder us in reaching our goals. When it comes to our weight problem, the mind can interfere with our success.
As discussed in the previous chapter, the contents of the mind are the psychological phenomena called mental formations or mental states, which are the manifestation of seeds from our store consciousness.
There are positive and wholesome mental formations, like mindfulness, compassion, and nonviolence. And there are unwholesome mental formations, like anger, hatred, and confusion. There are also mental formations that can be wholesome or unwholesome depending on the circumstances, like regret, which is bene cial when it wakes us up and helps us not repeat our mistakes, but unbene cial when it is prolonged and paralyzing. Every time a mental formation manifests itself, you should be able to recognize it and call it by its true name. Just like when you identify herbs for cooking by their smell and appearance.
How we feel, perceive, and act depends on how our mind reacts to and interprets the interactions between the sense organs and the sense objects. For example, as you drive into work on a sunny morning, your mind may bounce from one thought to another: “My neck hurts and I feel uncomfortable [restlessness]. … The sun is warm and bright [joy]. … I am late for my meeting [anxiety]…. Why did that car cut me off [anger]?!”
The restlessness, joy, anxiety, and anger described here are examples of mental formations that arise from seeds that are buried
in the deepest level of our mind, the store consciousness. Our store consciousness is like a eld in which every kind of seed is sown— seeds of compassion, joy, hope, and mindfulness as well as seeds of sorrow, fear, and despair. Every day our thoughts, words, and deeds reinforce certain seeds in the store consciousness. When these seeds germinate, what they generate becomes the substance of our life. Our body, our mind, and our world are all manifestations of the seeds that we have chosen to water in store consciousness.
Any seed that has an opportunity to manifest at the level of mind consciousness becomes stronger. For example, if we get into an argument, the seed of anger will manifest itself in the mind as the energy of anger. If we do not take care of this energy of anger and learn how to tame it with mindfulness, when our anger calms down and returns to the store consciousness in the form of a seed, this seed will become stronger and will arise more easily and intensely the next time we encounter a frustrating situation. As with everything, all the seeds are interdependent. The manifestation of any one seed will in uence all the other seeds. Mindfulness is actually one of these seeds, and if we water it often, it will also become stronger. This is why we want to continuously cultivate our seed of mindfulness—so that it gets stronger all the time and is able to shine light on all that we experience.
Taking time to observe the mind can help you become aware of mental formations that prevent you from reaching a healthy weight, and turn them into positive mental formations. The process is the same as observing the body and the feelings. We mindfully observe the arising, presence, and disappearance of the mental formations. We recognize them and look deeply into them in order to see their substance, their roots in the past, and their possible fruits in the future, using conscious breathing while we observe them. When we take the time to do this—to fully expose the mental formations to mindfulness—they naturally transform in a wholesome direction.
For example, desire means to be caught in unwholesome longing. In relation to issues with weight, the longing can be for too much food or for watching unhealthy amounts of television. Whenever
our mind and thoughts turn to such desires, we rst need to acknowledge them: “My mind wants me to eat more than I should.” “My mind wants me to sit and watch TV rather than go for a walk.” Acknowledge their existence instead of ghting, resisting, or suppressing them. By doing so, the desires will lose their strength and grip on you.
When such unhealthy desires are not present, we also need to observe that. We can practice like this: “At this time, the mind that wants to eat too much is not arising.” Desirelessness, the absence of longing for something, is one of the wholesome mental formations. It gives rise to feelings of joy, freedom, peace, and ease. It is the basis of true happiness, because in true happiness there must be the element of peace, joy, and ease.
Handling Our Anger
It is very important to learn to observe our negative emotions. One common negative emotion is anger—a complex formation that is at the heart of so many people’s struggles with weight, relationships, and life in general. Identifying the presence and the absence of anger in us brings many bene ts. Anger is like a ame blazing up and consuming our self-control, making us think, say, and do things that we will probably regret later. For example, when we get angry about our spouse’s control over what we can eat and what we cannot eat, we may say nasty things to our spouse. Later, we regret saying things that hurt our spouse. When we observe that anger is present and we mindfully identify our anger, it will lose its destructive nature. Only when we are angry and not observing our anger mindfully does our anger become destructive. When anger is born in us, we should follow our breathing closely while we identify and mindfully observe our anger. When we do that, mindfulness has already been born in us, and anger can no longer monopolize our consciousness. Awareness stands alongside the anger: “Breathing in, I know that I am angry.” This awareness is a companion for the anger. Our mindful observation is not to suppress or drive out our anger, but just to look after it. This is a
very important principle. Mindful observation is like a lamp that gives light. It is not a judge. It throws light on our anger and looks after it in an a ectionate and caring way without judgment, like an older sister looking after and comforting her younger sibling.
When we are angry, our anger is our very self. To suppress or chase away our anger is to suppress or chase away ourselves. When anger is born, we can be aware that anger is an energy in us, and we can change that energy into another kind of energy. If we want to transform it, first we have to know how to accept it.
We can also turn our anger into something wholesome, just as we create nourishing compost for our gardens from our food scraps. If we know how to accept our anger, to stop resisting or ghting it, we can start to feel a glimpse of peace and joy. Gradually, we can transform anger completely into the energy of understanding and compassion, allowing us to love, take care of, and honor ourselves better.
As we follow our breathing and hold our anger with mindfulness, the situation becomes less and less contentious. Although the anger is still there, it gradually loses it strength because we begin to understand it and to understand better the su ering of the person who triggered our anger. With this understanding, we can forgive and let go. We can accept our anger and make peace with it.
Looking into our anger, we can see its roots, such as the misunderstanding of ourselves and others, our pain, the violence and unkindness in our society, and hidden resentment over many generations. These roots can be present both within us and in the person who played the principal role in triggering our anger. When anger arises, we rst need to come back to our conscious breathing and care for our anger with mindfulness. We concentrate on our breathing in order to maintain mindfulness.
Breathing in, I know that I am angry.
Breathing out, I know that I must take care of my anger.
Breathing in, I know that anger is still here.
Breathing out, I know that anger is in me and I know that
mindfulness is in me also.
Breathing in, I know that anger is an unpleasant feeling.
Breathing out, I know that this feeling has been born and will die.
Breathing in, I know that I can take care of my anger. Breathing out, I calm my anger.
—adapted from Transformation and Healing by Thich Nhat Hanh1
Mindfulness embraces the feeling, as a mother holds her crying child in her arms and transmits all her a ection and care. If a mother puts all her heart and mind into caring for the baby, the baby will feel the mother’s gentleness and will calm down. In the same way, we can calm the functioning of our mind. In order to realize the state of non-anger in our conscious and subconscious mind, we have to practice meditating on love and compassion. Anger foments many of the issues we have with weight; love and compassion for others and ourselves help us better address these issues.
Loving-kindness meditation helps us develop the mind of love and compassion and is a good antidote for our anger. Loving-kindness is the ability to bring peace and happiness to ourselves and others. Compassion is the capacity to remove the su ering in us and others. The core of love and compassion is understanding—the ability to recognize the su ering in ourselves and others. We have to be in touch with the physical and psychological su ering in ourselves and others. When we are deeply in contact with it, grounded rmly in mindfulness, a feeling of compassion is born in us immediately. Because understanding is the very foundation of love and compassion, our words and actions will then become ones that reduce the su ering in ourselves and others, dissolve our resentment, and bring more happiness to us and to others at the same time.
Love Meditation
We begin practicing the love meditation below by focusing on ourselves: “I.” Until we are able to love and take care of ourselves, we cannot be of much help to others. Next, we can o er the practice for others (substituting “he/she” or “they”), starting with someone we love; next, someone we like; then, someone neutral to us; and finally, someone who has made us suffer.
May I be peaceful, happy, and light in body and spirit. May I be safe and free from injury.
May I be free from anger, afflictions, fear, and anxiety.
May I learn to look at myself with the eyes of understanding and love.
May I be able to recognize and touch the seeds of joy and happiness in myself.
May I learn to identify and see the sources of anger, craving, and delusion in myself.
May I know how to nourish the seeds of joy in myself every day. May I be able to live fresh, solid, and free.
May I be free from attachment and aversion, but not be indifferent. —Thich Nhat Hanh, Teachings on Love
If we know how to acknowledge and recognize the presence of every mental formation, embrace it, calm it, and look deeply into it, we will gain insight. When we practice observing the mind, we can better understand why it is we feel and act the way we do. Why do we make poor health decisions? Why do we surround ourselves with people who may not be good for us? Closely observing the interrelationship of all that is in and around us helps guide us on the path to understanding and overcoming our issues with our weight.
Mindfulness of the Objects of Mind (Observation of Objects of Mind in the Objects of Mind)
Observation of the objects of mind includes all that can be
perceived of as existing in forms, feelings, and thoughts, as well as all phenomena. When we speak of “mindfulness,” we must specify: Mindfulness of what? Mindfulness of breathing? Mindfulness of walking? Mindfulness of anger? You have to be mindful of something. If that something is not there, there is no mindfulness possible. So when we speak of observing the mind in the mind, we are speaking of the subject of cognition, the subject of our mental formations, the subject of mindfulness, of hate, of love, or of jealousy. And with every subject there must be an object. To love means to love what? To love whom? To hate means to hate what? To hate whom? These are what is meant by the objects of mind.
Observing the objects of mind means to see that no phenomena has an independent existence, but arises because of the numerous conditions that have brought it to be. As the Buddha said, “This is, because that is.” When we look deeply into the objects of mind, we see their arising, their duration, and their fading away. But because we see they are interrelated with everything else and have no separate self, we also see that they have no birth and no death. They were already there in the conditions that created them before they were born and they continue to exist in these conditions after they fade away. When we see the source and true nature of the objects of mind that we are contemplating, they no longer bind us.
Untying Our Internal Knots
In teaching on the observation of the objects of mind, the Buddha emphasized awareness of our internal formations, mental knots or fetters, born from our habit energies and misperceptions of reality. When we immerse ourselves in a certain environment, live with a certain group of people, or expose ourselves to certain media, we tend to develop certain behaviors or habits. Our parents and our society heavily in uence how we think, feel, and behave. Our habit energies result from the way we have learned to respond to sensory perceptions. These habit energies leave indelible imprints in our mind, and they form internal knots that reside deep in our consciousness. These knots are the blocks of sadness and pain that
are tied up deeply in our consciousness. When your mother keeps reminding you that you are fat, that you should not eat this or that, you gradually build up resentment and guilt, forming complex knots of suffering.
When negative habit energies rise up in our mind, they tend to dominate us and limit our horizon so that we cannot see things clearly as they are. Habit energies such as smoking, drinking a lot, and overeating bring us su ering, while habit energies such as humor and generosity bring us joy.
We can easily get attached to our desires—like an insatiable craving for chips—and use them to cope with our emotional hunger. If we are not able to satisfy our craving, knots of desire may form in our mind. Not only the desire for food but also the desire for alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, sex, and praise can lead to the formation of knots in our mind. Once we have experienced one of these pleasant feelings—from getting tipsy, high, and so on—a knot is tied, and we are tempted to seek the same experience again and again. Because of our attachment, we often end up with unpleasant feelings when our cravings are not met, and this causes other knots of suffering to form in our consciousness.
When internal knots of desire, anger, fear, sorrow, and low self-esteem have been buried and repressed in our mind for months, years, or decades, they greatly affect our mental and physical health. The suppression may be the result of wrong perceptions or pressure from societal norms. Because it is easier to avoid su ering in the short term, we have defense mechanisms that push our psychological pains, sorrows, and internal con icts into our subconscious mind and bury them there. But occasionally they emerge and surface in our thoughts, speech, and actions, re ecting symptoms of physical and psychological disturbance.
If we allow knots to form and then let them grow strong, they will eventually overwhelm us, and it will be very di cult to untie them. It is important that we practice mindful observation and are aware as soon as knots form in us so we can nd a way to transform them before they become big and very tightly bound.
The way to transform these a ictions is to look deeply into them. In order to observe them, we need to bring them into awareness through the practice of conscious breathing so that we can recognize our feelings, thoughts, words, and actions as they arise from the depths of our mind.
When we enter a mindful state through conscious breathing, we are essentially closing the doors of our senses. During this time, deeply buried internal knots will have the opportunity to emerge and reveal themselves in the form of images or feelings in our mind. When they surface, we may not be able to understand or see the cause of these unpleasant emotions. But if we shine the light of mindfulness on them, we may see them more clearly. Sometimes the feelings are too intense and unpleasant, and we want to bury them again. But when we are able to maintain and increase the energy of mindfulness, we can overcome our aversion to our painful emotions. We continue to nourish mindfulness through conscious breathing and try to acknowledge our internal knots and con icts as they emerge. We learn to receive them with the love and tenderness of a mother embracing her baby. We can say: “The light of mindfulness is here and shining, and I know that I have enough strength to be in touch with the knots that are emerging.”
It may also be that we need the help of others trained in the practice of mindfulness and capable of dwelling in the present moment to support us in staying with our painful feelings. We can ask a friend to sit next to us and breathe deeply with us as we embrace the feeling together. The collective energy of mindfulness and compassion at a retreat or practice center is also very powerful. Many people are able to transform very deep su ering and release very tightly bound and long-standing internal knots with the help of a loving, supportive spiritual community.
Some years ago Thay (thay means “teacher” in Vietnamese, and students often address Thich Nhat Hanh as “Thay”) o ered a retreat for Vietnam veterans. Many of them carried secrets and tremendous su ering that they had never been able to share with others or nd relief from. We would sit in a circle, just listening, and allow each
| back the wounded Vietcong to their camp as war prisoners. In his | |
| helicopter he transported a woman ghter who | was seriously |
| wounded. She was clutching her hammock. Guerrilla | ghters living |
| veteran to speak out his su ering. With some of them, we just sat | |
| silently for a long time before they were able to open their heart | |
and share with us. One veteran told us that during the war one day his unit attacked guerrilla ghters. They defeated them and brought
in the jungle slept in hammocks and carried their few possessions with them. She continued to stare at him with great hatred and anger. In her anguished look, he felt she was accusing him: “Why have you come here to destroy my country?” Before they could reach their base, she died in the helicopter, her eyes still staring at him, cold and hard. He had kept her hammock with him all those years and brought it with him to the retreat.
In the retreat we o ered teachings on embracing our su ering
and holding tenderly our painful emotions. We all trained in
mindful walking and breathing, developing our concentration and
calm. The veteran began to see that although he had committed
terrible acts during the war, he could do very positive and healing
things now to heal the wounds he caused in the past. On the last
day of retreat we organized a bon re to help the veterans release
their su ering from the war. We practiced walking meditation to the bon re and encouraged each veteran to throw into the re
objects or symbols that represented his or her pain. The man stood a long time by the re, clutching his hammock tightly to his chest. He refused to throw it into the fire.
One of the nuns told the man, “Throw the hammock into the re.” But he resisted. He was attached to his su ering, to his complex. Thay went to him and very gently encouraged him to release it. Thay told him, “Now you have become a new person and compassion is born in you. Don’t continue to hold on to your old su ering, to your guilt. Give me the hammock.” And nally he gave it to Thay. Then the nun and Thay put the hammock into the ames. And there was a big transformation in our friend. He felt so much better: he was light and free from the weight, the complex of
guilt that he had carried with him and been attached to for so many years.
By just observing and acknowledging our feelings and our thoughts without judgment, blame, or criticism, we have embarked on the path of emancipation from our su ering. If there is pain, sorrow, or anger, we simply acknowledge that we feel the pain, the sorrow, and the anger. When we acknowledge these feelings with mindfulness, we do not let the feelings of pain, sorrow, or anger take us over and lead us astray. Instead we try to calm them down with tenderness. Practicing like this will cause our knots to loosen up, and repeated practice will eventually help us understand their roots by identifying the sources of nutriments that have brought them into being. With this insight and understanding, we can stop the suffering at its roots.
The practice is not a matter of transforming our intellect alone. Day and night we have to water the seed of understanding in our store consciousness so that it will grow and help us see the nature of interbeing in everything we see and touch, allowing us to make peace with ourselves. We have to bring this understanding into our daily life so that, with mindfulness, we are more aware of our feelings, recognize them, and prevent them from becoming knots in the first place.
We often confront feelings of regret and fear. We have all had regrets and wished that we had not done a certain thing in the past. If we keep looking back remorsefully, we may create guilt complexes, which prevent us from being happy. We may believe that mistakes have been made already and that we cannot go back to the past to change things. When we look deeply into the relative nature of time, we see that the past has created the present. If we seize the present moment with mindfulness, we are in touch with the past. We can actually go back to the past, while staying rmly rooted in the present moment, and heal the past. We forgive ourselves for our mistakes, knowing we didn’t have enough wisdom or the right conditions at that time to do better. We transform our regrets in the present into compassion and understanding, and in
this way we also transform the past.
Moreover, since we are the continuation of our ancestors, and we are inextricably linked to them as well as to our parents and our siblings, if we can transform ourselves, we can also help transform them and bring peace and joy to those we love. By taking hold of the present, we can free ourselves from su ering and heal the trauma or wrongdoings that happened in the past.
For example, a mother who has been using fast foods, sodas, and sweets to reward her children’s good behavior may feel guilty about her children when they become obese young adults. If the mother lives mindfully, she will see that there are still many opportunities available to help her children master their weight. Furthermore, she can help many other children avoid falling into these unhealthy behavior traps. She can volunteer in schools and participate in their wellness councils, working alongside principals and teachers to ensure that children get healthier food choices at school. In this way, the mother can ease her remorse and feel good that she is contributing to the health and well-being of many other children.
Besides transforming our negative seeds and unpleasant feelings, let us not forget or undermine the strength and wonders of our positive seeds. We have wholesome and unwholesome seeds. However, we need to recognize that each seed is dependent on all the others for its existence. This interdependent nature means that an unwholesome seed contains elements of wholesome seeds and vice versa. We can transform the unwholesome seed simply by watering the wholesome ones. So when we come across di cult times in our lives, if we touch and water the seeds of peace and joy that are already in us, they will sprout and bring the fruits of peace and happiness. Their strong presence will overcome and weaken the unwholesome seeds. Therefore, it is equally important that we regularly observe objects of mind that can lead us to well-being and shine the light of mindfulness on wholesome seeds so that they can grow stronger in the field of our mind.
Practicing Mindfulness in the Twenty-First Century
By practicing these four foundations of mindfulness, we will be able to nourish and protect ourselves, free ourselves from pain, and gain wisdom. Through these practices we penetrate the interrelationship of our physical, physiological, and psychological experience. Furthermore, we can see that each of us and the rest of the world are interdependent—that we as observers, and the world that we perceive, are not separate in time and space. Seeing the true, interconnected nature of our body, feelings, mind, and objects of mind lays the foundation for well-being and happiness.
Generating the energy of mindfulness is essential for transformation. We can live each moment of our life mindfully. We look, listen, think, speak, and act with our mindfulness. When we cook, we cook mindfully. When we eat, we eat mindfully. When we exercise, we move our bodies mindfully. Being aware of our breathing can instantly connect us to what we are doing. By enjoying our breathing in whatever we are doing, we produce the energy of mindfulness to help us touch and live life deeply. This practice allows us to transform the garbage of our a ictions into flowers of well-being.
Every one of us can become a Buddha. A Buddha is someone who is fully awake. Prince Siddhartha Gautama was a human being who became a full -time Buddha after years of concentrated practice. We can all touch Buddhahood as part-time Buddhas when we embark on the path of mindfulness training and the road to attaining healthy weight. Bear in mind that as we practice, we should not view the teachings of Buddhism as rigid dogmas demanding blind commitment. They are simply instruments for gaining insight, which help us remove the obstacles to correct perception.
Being mindful does not mean that we just sit for hours on our meditation cushion in a retreat or monastery. There are many ways to practice mindfulness that can be fully integrated into our daily living. Besides conscious breathing, we can do walking meditation, sitting meditation, smiling, mindful listening, mindful speaking, and mindful working. We can practice concentration and looking
deeply in all the activities of our daily life. Even while walking, we can practice stopping. We can walk in such a way that we arrive with each step—not walking just to get somewhere else. We can walk to enjoy each step. If we practice stopping while attending to e-mails, sur ng the Web, attending meetings or appointments, folding the laundry, washing the dishes, or taking a shower, we are living deeply. If we do not practice this way, the days and months will y by without our awareness, and we will lose many precious moments of our life. Stopping helps us live fully in the present. We have many daily opportunities to help our seeds of joy and happiness flourish.
IN CHAPTERS 5, 6, AND 7, we will share more everyday mindfulness practices that you can use throughout your daily life and integrate into almost every task you undertake. Every act and every moment of our life is a valuable opportunity to practice mindfulness.
As we deepen our practice of mindfulness, one breath at a time, one step at a time, we will discover its many wonders. It helps us make real contact with life, making it more meaningful. When we are present, life is also present. Mindfulness practice improves our ability to concentrate. When we can concentrate, we understand and look more deeply into whatever arises. Deep looking ultimately leads to insight and understanding, helping to liberate us from our fear, despair, and su ering and to touch real joy and peace. With mindfulness, we can touch and embrace our life more deeply. We can savor the many gifts that life o ers us every day, allowing us to receive nourishment and healing for ourselves and our beloved ones.
- N. Hanh, Transformation and Healing (Berkeley, CA: Parallax Press, 2006), p. 89.
